SUFJAN

I still have a few jellybeans bouncing around my head from his concert. So much fun. I wish I went to Wellington for a second helping.

Parachute

Spent most of the time making t-shirt designs happen. It was rather intense. Mike and I worked a 19 hour day on Saturday. God was with all of us, keeping us alive. He brought us amazing volunteer help, he stopped it flooding, he let the tent light that we shared with our neighbouring business favour our side of the tent. And at the end of the weekend, when I had no more energy to sell or make t-shirts, I just told a guy about Freeset and he bought a blank green t-shirt. He was already wearing a green t-shirt.

We couldn't have worked harder. I felt like a robot after a certain point. De-humanised. God used this to show me how weak I am compared to many women who stand in lines in Calcutta, who give up so much more for so much less. Who are in higher demand with less support. These are the women we were working for. Selling these shirts so that Freeset can reach one more. No sale was made without God's will. He was so evident in the whole process.

I didn't read the Bible the whole weekend, I thought I was too exhausted.
Then when I got home, I found the Psalms I would have read over the weekend if I had made the time. We were all so weary and the words of Psalm 61 and 62 would have been perfect to comfort us and especially Mike. It was a reminder that even when you think you are doing the will of God, you still make time to read his word.

Inside The Actor's Studio

Last week I was watching heaps of this show. Its in-depth interviews with writers and actors at an arts school in America where James Lipton is dean and interviews people about what they do for the benefit of budding actors and writers at the school. It's one of the greatest television series.

I wish our culture would obsess over other careers as well as show business, just cos I'm sure this isn't the only place where you find philosophy, psychology and personality really deeply woven into a career.
The depth explored in Inside the Actor's Studio and the appreciation for craft, originality and creativity is something I could almost drool over. I can't get enough of it.
I have been youtube binge-ing this recently. It makes my acting gland swell up. I think not pursuing acting will be my dying regret as well as not starting a dance crew.

Here's some of my top ITAS guests:

Johnny Depp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt0eqVAwhP8
"Yeah, telemarketing...I think that was my first acting gig actually."

Dustin Hoffman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1vD3E9SqJI

Drew Barrymore
I think the youtube link for her interview got taken down...

Robin Williams
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evq8wnvTC3M

Alan Alda
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPiLtMV1-fg

Will Smith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nitB-9hNr2k

Tom Hanks (the only guest to appear twice on the show!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFnRY4gY97E

And all these guys...

Matt Damon
Kevin Spacey
Harrison Ford
Christopher Walken

Lazarus

"Lord, the one you love is sick." - Lazarus' sisters.

"Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going [to Judea] to wake him up." - Jesus

Jesus was returning to Judea where he was previously chased out, narrowly escaping being stoned for his friend, Lazarus.
I want to know more about Lazarus and Jesus! It sounds like they were really good friends.

This is the story that holds the well known shortest verse in the Bible.  "Jesus wept."

He was weeping for his friend Lazarus, even though he knew he was about to raise him to life. Jesus still wept for his death, for the pain that it caused Lazarus's sisters and friends. For the fact that he was out of town when Lazarus died. It says Jesus was 'deeply moved in spirit and troubled,' Jesus was overcome with emotion.
 The point is, Jesus feels for people in pain, even if the pain is something he is moments away from healing, even when there is undeniable hope, his love for us means he feels our pain and it reassures us that he is with us. He's with us for the hard yards, not just up for quick fixes.

And I love it when Jesus says, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go." Its just like a little picture of the gospel or salvation, or God making things right. An encouraging reminder that death was conquered.
I like this as a metaphor -- being raised to life but still having to remove the grave clothes. Being brought into a relationship with God and still learning to deal with your personal flaws and grow a godly lifestyle. Really diggin' it.

Jewishness

I already have a massive respect for Jews. Maybe mostly cos I really like Jesus. But also cos I dig Jewish history and writing. Its funny how you kinda start to inherit that stuff when you become a Christian. You learn to like Jewish poetry and culture and then you start claiming Jewish promises, too.

I recently finished reading 'Night' by Elie Wiesel. Eliezer was 15 when he went to his first concentration camp in 1944 along with his Father. They were separated from the rest of his family.

The Kaddish is a Jewish prayer for the dead. Many were saying this prayer on their own behalf at these camps.

I couldn't help but wonder exactly what Elie himself was wondering at that time. "Where was God?"
Not that I don't think God was there, but I'm really curious about how God responded to the prayers of those people. Those who were so faithful, yet who don't share a messiah with me. I can't bring myself to say that they weren't 'saved.' But I know they were not Christian and they didn't believe on Jesus.
What will their conversation with God be like at the end of our days?

People dying in the most hopeless circumstances, but still holding onto faith. Trusting in Yaweh but not in Jesus Christ. What does this mean? This is burning in my heart right now.

I hate focusing on the idea of 'who's in and who's out' because I don't think that's really a good approach to life in general, but I just wonder what people think about this. I wonder if I'm a fool for struggling with this. Is it simple? Did they all simply die without a saviour? Or was this the kind of tragedy something Jesus died for?

Weary beans

Some days you get to the end of the day and you realise you just need a hug.

Just a little thinking

Sometimes I just think, I can never be bothered with anything that's not real life. I mean, things that take away from real life are just stupid. Anything that slows down or prevents people and things from blooming.
Anything that isn't true to what it is.
Anything that has a hidden agenda.

Because the opposite is so good. How could you ever choose to give it up?

Its so good to see people bloom. To see people stay true to each other and themselves and be honest.

How do we choose lies. It happens all the time. Different lies, different times. But it always comes back to what motives are in your core. The creator, or something created. God or yourself or someone else. What is at your core?
If you went through something that peeled you to your core, what would show?

"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator."